Art of NOT giving a fuck

I shared this article, and the response was mind blowing :)
Keeping here as a placeholder..

Art of NOT giving a fuck

What a Bounty ...

Clean Energy, what more can we ask for ..

India should integrate itself with friendly neighbors to counter the China Pakistan combo ...
Clean bundles of hydroelectricity from Nepal, and Gas grid enabled energy from Myanmar via Bangladesh..
Not to mention, these Himalayan rivers are a lifeline for the northern plains of India (and Pakistan).

"All Nepal’s rivers, if tapped, could feasibly produce about 40GW of clean energy"

Simply WOW...

South Asia’s hydro-politics: Water in them hills

Debt ... the Macro view

'Debt'.
I think it is justified in only 2 scenarios:

a. When debt allows an entity to acquire an asset which increases productivity in the long run; this can even be investment in an intangible asset, like 'skill set' or 'health'.

b. When debt is able to prevent a breakdown; of institutions, countries, corporations, or household.

In general, any requirement for debt, should be matched against a simple thumb rule; is this driven by a genuine need, or is an aspirational desire fueled initiative.

Also, acquiring debt for high risk investment is an all time NO ...

Fantastic article noting how debt/credit flows from country to country, private to public sector and so on ...

Credit - How it moves

Effectively, Debt is almost like energy .. it can neither be created nor destroyed.. if not serviced through innovation and structural mechanisms for quick re-allotment of capital and risk in economy, debt can only be 'transformed', not destroyed.

Aakhir.. Sach me ho na paaya

And then, it fell sideways.. yet again.

Just watch this clip... This cult movie keeps on bringing something new to the table every time you revisit it.
That scene from DCH (Respect)

The idea has been in perpetual reckoning.. as long back as I can remember.

We have to meet.. Lets get together..

When the group to plan the meet was ironically named "Ho Na Payega", I had silently said to myself..

"Dude.. Not this time..."

Not to bitch about WHY it fell apart this time, because the reasons were valid. Sadly, they have been valid for quite a while now. I am writing about something else (And I am writing after a really long time)

I don't know about others, but I know WHY I want to meet..

I miss the camaraderie.

Feel like I am getting into a bit of 'Drama Queen' mode. Let me get real. Neither me nor anyone in my group has never really 'talked' about shit. Not consciously, anyways. I don't think boys anywhere are in the habit of doing so. So, let us take a step back and examine the context of today's communication landscape.

I strongly feel in today's lives of constant connectivity, we have lost the art of real communication. Just try engaging face to face a stranger in a light conversation. I am not bad at it, but I know i still feel that tinge in stomach before I begin...

This era of constant connectivity ensures that we share content (mostly articles and jokes). We even discuss ideas and events; politics and sports and economics.

We talk about what is happening around us.. We don't really talk about "Whats happening in our lives", unless to give out tidbits of information... I bought this, I went there.. Or else, to share extreme short "Nuggets of wisdom".

It has big plus, constant contact. But it can never take the place of a real meet....

In the midst of this mind numbing constant access to each other, the non sense doesn't get talked out. We cant share the impromptu chuckle, or the sound of a soul-filling curse thrown at a friend... 

We can't watch an episode of Breaking Bad together, or can't discuss the Politics from House of Cards or engage in long wound discussions about the warring houses in Game of Thrones. We can't share a drink together... To sum it all up,
" We can't be stupid together.."

So why is this non sense important? As said before in the post, we as friends never talk important shit per se.. We talk non sense, and then we somehow make sense of that non sense in each other's talk. In moments within that stupid discussion, something profound and meaningful gets said and discussed, sometimes openly sometimes in guise..

I stumbled upon an idea recently.. I tend to presume that when someone has something to say, the person will, so why bother...

And there lies the catch.. those are the very things, peculiar in nature, that need prodding...

I can't imagine me doing it, ever. Because at some level I realize, that this is against my core belief, to leave someone alone if they don't ask for help.

This again reinforces the fact: non nonsensical peripheral babbling is important during a face to face get together.

I recently went on a WhatsApp sabbatical for about 10 days from our group. And then I got through the days, another thought, bit by bit, came to me.. Especially when I was going through the truckload of messages of previous conversations before jumping back in...

People have to try and give it a try.. A push to make the real meet happen. WE have to prioritize it; make time for it, because there will always be other things.

And maybe at some level, stop pretending to ourselves that we want to do something, when perhaps deep inside, we may not really want to..

Now look at the pic below and think..

Do you not want to live this moment every once in a while?

Do you not deserve this?

Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr

And then it happened ...

Isn't it ironic, that the heart compels you to mark exactly those moments in ink which can never be described in words. I guess it makes sense though. I do realize at some level I write in a modest hope that I may be able to re-live this flood of emotions, even a semblance of it when I read this again. Isn't this what memoirs are for?

I do believe in God, but am absolutely not religious. I don't keep track of auspicious days, don't care for rituals and traditions, and don’t really take any pains to suck up to the almighty in general. My grandma had told me long ago that I don't need to do all that, because prayer without faith and belief in the cause amounts to nothing. I don't remember when was the last time I visited a temple. But as weird as it might sound, out of my own volition, I went to temple on Thursday morning after we beat Pakistan. I was ill, not feeling well, but somehow it just felt right. Then I went again on Friday, and prayed to God to write the prefect script on Saturday. And I even took my little sister to temple on Saturday morning in Pune. I intend to go once more sometime next week as a Thank You. That’s it for now.

How for the duration of 10 odd hours, I lived and died with every ball. I was there, on the field, in every sense. Nothing around me mattered anymore. Tiny moments etched in memory forever. Shock when Sreesanth came in rather than Ashwin. Sachin on shoulders of the team-mates. The glaring similarity between Zaheer's last over in 2011 final and his first over in 2003 Finals. The surge of respect for Dhoni when he promoted himself ahead of Yuvraj, and terror when he came crumbling down on pitch with stomach cramps and dehydration. The perfect silence all around when Sachin was caught behind the stumps. Sehwag holding Simon Taufel's arm when he signaled a No-Ball. Dhoni shouting over stumps to Yuvraj, "Referal lena hia kya, bol na, lena hai kya". Gambhir getting an earful from Dhoni after he played a shot in air that just went over the mid-on fielder for four. Gary Kirsten's jump from seat after the final shot. The anger in Kohli's eyes as he walked back to the pavilion.

I can't help but feel for my friends abroad. I got 5 calls towards the end of the match from friends outside, all asking "Abe bataa bahar kya ho raha hai". They must have all known the madness that prevailed on the streets when we knocked out Pakistan. And even though they could not be here, they wanted to be a part of it this time somehow, as it was happening real time. As one of them later wrote on FB, "I have never been so happy and so sad simultaneously in my whole life."

There was a barrage of SMS after we beat Pak 3 days ago, but today there was a steady flow of SMS throughout the day. One said; "Sangakara Prays to God, to help them win over India. God replies, sorry dude, conflict of interest. I'm gonna open for India". Another one was when we were in doldrums after Sachin's departure, one SMS said, "Arrey chinta nahi, apan hi jeetenge, Ghajini aur Rajni dono ordiance me hai"

Post match seems like a blur now. I was oblivious to the moistness in my own eyes till I saw tears streaming down the faces of Bhajji And Yuvi. The post match presentation ceremony, the victory lap all happened so fast. The grace with which Sangakara gave Team India credit was amazing. The face of Mahela and Sangakara post match told the story, and I felt bad for them. Though I didn't feel much for Murli. He already has been a World Champion, and he has already had a perfect script for TEST retirement when he got 8 wickets to touch 800 wickets. Miracles don't happen that often.

The firecrackers that went on for hours put any Diwali I have seen on the backburner. The crowds on the streets were amazing; not because of the sheer number, nor for the numerous Indian flags unfurled all along as far as the sight went. It was novel to see a sea of Blue amidst the yellow and white of street lights. Slogans all around ... "Sachin, India, Bharat mata ki Jai, Jeet Gaye" ... There was excitement, but no unruly behavior anywhere. The mobs were courteous and polite, even when screaming at the top of their voice. No obscenities, nothing. All around were genuine people, who were out there because they wanted to, because they believed in their dream and it had come true. Families, Young Kids, Grandparents .. all were out... on foot, in vehicles ...

We shouted and greeted random people, and they responded with equal vigor. I was hugging and giving high-fives to strangers, but we weren't strangers anymore. It was the brotherhood of Indian Cricket fans, embodying the soul of our nation. There was no eve teasing, and girls were feeling safe. There was hardly any traffic police, but there were no big jams. An uncle was putting tilak on everyone's forehead passing by, "Aaj desh jeeta hai beta, ham sab jeete hai". As I danced across ahead in the street I wondered if I will ever meet that man again, but it did not matter. Colors were flying all around; probably leftovers from Holi. The reaction was fit to the dreams of a nation coming true.

In hindsight, I loved the way how despite being so much about Sachin, the match did not become an All-Sachin affair. Tendulkar finally had a team his commitment, hard work and passion deserved, and they did it when it mattered. It felt like an obvious culmination for the years of devotion to the game and Nation by this humble great man. All the movie superstars, Business tycoons and Larger than life politicians must have gotten a dose of reality; of what it means to be Sachin Tendulkar. He was the special person Yuvraj wanted to win for. There was an underlying current across the nation, where everyone wanted the Cup for themselves, the players, but also specifically for Sachin. Kohli summed it up the best, "For 21 years he has carries the burden of our expectations on his shoulders, now it was time that we carried him on our shoulders"

Wish I could know more, feel more. How must it be to be in presence of an awe inspiring figure like Sachin, in flesh and blood around you. But that is a privilege of the few. We won, and not as underdogs, but as one of the tournament favorites. That makes it even more special.

Perfect endings don't happen only in movies; it can also happen in life. I was born in the year India won it's first World Cup. In 2011, I feel I am born again. As I look at issues around me in my life, somehow everything seems different, even when I know nothing has changed on ground. The underlying philosophy got reinforced. Take a leap of faith, work hard and be patient. All will be well.

PS: I am willing to pay top dollar to buy a copy of India's WC campaign.

Books I read in 2010 ...

I read a lot, and I hear a lot from people who say I don't go anywhere without a book, and get restless when I don't have one to read. Anyways, a conversation with my brother gave me this thought and so I listed the books I read last year.

The Great Indian Novel - Shashi Tharoor
India after Gandhi - Ramachandra Guha
If God was a Banker - Ravi subramaniam
Into the wild - Jon Krakauer
Devil in pinstripes - Ravi subramaniam
Keep off the grass - Karan Bajaj
The White Tiger - Aravind Adiga
Johnny gone down - Karan Bajaj
Dork : The Incredible Adventures of Robin 'Einstein' Varghese - Sidin Vadukut
Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
2 States - Chetan Bhagat
Yes Minister - Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn
The Professional - Subroto Bagchi
Into thin air - by Jon Krakauer
It happened in India - Kishore Biyani and Dipayan Baishya
The Inscrutable Americans - Anurag Mathur
Of Course I Love You. . ! : Till I Find Someone - Durjoy Datta
A Romance With Chaos - Nishant Kaushik
India: From Midnight to the Millennium and Beyond - Shashi Tharoor
Kane and Abel - Jeffrey Archer (continued from 2009)
First among equals - Jeffrey Archer
Not a penny more, not a penny less - Jeffrey Archer


It is amusing to look back at this list. For example, I recall how I could actually feel Jeffrey Archer evolve as an author as I read his 3 novels back to back. And then there were a bunch of Novels that got published due to what I call "The Chetan Bhagat Effect". There were others mammoth ones, Like India After Gandhi and The Great India Novel. And few like The Inscrutable Americans which belonged to the immediate post liberalization era, but are not so relevant anymore. And Yes Minister, which was a second read (first was in college courtesy Bhowmik)


Now that I have listed these, I realize I do read a lot. Well, it continues ..
For 2011, I have already read The Wizard of Oz and am currently reading India Unbound.


My Bookmark has this lovely comment on it:
"Never judge a book by its movie"


I guess thats a good point to conclude this post.

Bhale, Happy new year ho gaya

First of all, I am a bit pleased with myself. Finally got down to writing a blog after few months.
After 5 consecutive weekends, I spent this weekend at my place in Mumbai. I rediscovered the joys of laziness and procrastination.

But I am writing about the time spent in Delhi/NCR last December.

First of all, to all those who say I plan too much ... In You Face suckers ... I planned this trip and I made it happen ...

People say I end up writing a structured emotional itinerary of my trips with friends. So, I will try and make this one different. No recall of how the time was spent, no names of places visited. Just a few plain moments which are still vivid in my mind...

I still cant forget the uncertainty that bugged me before my flight for Delhi took off ... The flight had been cancelled in the days leading up to departure date, and things looked bleak. Too much Fog in Delhi. Funny thing, I was not really bothered about what would happen if I don't make it to Delhi ... bigger fear was I had no plans to do anything in Mumbai as a backup ...

So, the takeaways from the trip ...

It was Parag's call at 6:30 am on my B'day that set this all in motion. He told me he was coming in Dec, and then Goel also said he had some 'work'. It was the time of exorbitant Flight fares, and I was skeptical. But things fell into place, and I reached there ...

Now, being in Mumbai for so long, I had forgotten the joys of a warm sun in chilling cold ... I rediscovered that at Galleria over a period of 3-4 hours one fine morning.

No matter what, I cannot forget the formulation of our theory as to why and how really India got Independence ... the true story that was covered up ... How Bapu got up with his Lathee in his hand, and others followed him, and Dandi march happened. And what was the real reason behind Quit India.

Arpit, thanks for the endless cups of Green Tea / Herbal Tea. I loved them. The image is still fresh in my mind ... that steaming mug in hand, looking down from balcony, and seeing nothing but a layer of fog down on earth ... wow.

A standout was the nice peaceful conversation with Parag in icy cold balcony in the dead of the night ... that one to one chat was awesome. Very Boston Legal type Balcony conversation.. There was another one the previous night, with Parag and Pulkit ... it was no mean feat. We got Chojan to think, and thats all we are capable of.

The Wassuppppp commercials, the timely utterance of True, True .... Man, I shouted Wassup as I wrote this, ha ha ha.

That shitty Rihanna song which I hate from the bottom of my heart ... which was played over again and again ...

Gupta and his SLR ... and the conspicuous absence of Chojan One at times. Was nice to bump in to Kapoor saab, meet Arpit, and not so nice to miss Banerjee by a whisker.

It was a good place to start this 'Happy New Year'. I recall one of us saying this, 'shadi ke baad ek sheher me nahi rahenge, warna sab ki biwi ghar se nikaal degi'

This trip was different from the previous ones we had. Everyone was laid back. Very less was spoken but a lot was said. Advice was sought ... advice was given ... situations were judged, with underlying accepted on any course our lives take in future.
This just might turn out to be one of the last such meets ... the mood was different when we met at Pune in Jul 2010.

Hope to meet up soon, this time a bigger group ... things will surely change for all of us in 2011. Just that nobody knows where will the roads lead us.

Tomorrow’s Child, by Glenn Thomas

I saw a video on youtube, and it had this poem being recited. Very simple yet powerful, it chronicles the change in thinking of a person as he begins to realize the fact that the impact of his actions on the environment will be the reality of a child's life in time ahead.

Tomorrow’s Child

Without a name; an unseen face

and knowing not your time nor place

Tomorrow’s Child, though yet unborn,

I met you first last Tuesday morn.

A wise friend introduced us two,

and through his sobering point of view

I saw a day that you would see;

a day for you, but not for me

Knowing you has changed my thinking,

for I never had an inkling

That perhaps the things I do

might someday, somehow, threaten you

Tomorrow’s Child, my daughter-son

I’m afraid I’ve just begun

To think of you and of your good,

Though always having known I should.

Begin I will to weigh the cost

of what I squander; what is lost

If ever I forget that you

will someday come to live here too

By Glenn Thomas

The Empire bows out ... at last

Whoa !!! Germans must be drowning themselves in beer this Sunday afternoon...

The Ghost goal not withstanding, there is no doubt the deserving team won.

Looks like the Englishmen forgot to gulp beer before this match. The Group matches had exposed English side's lack of structure, they barely scraped through to get into the final 16. Germany, on the other hand looked good even in their loss to Serbia.

England looked hapless throughout the match, barring a brief phase in the latter 20 minutes of first half, when they scored a goal, were denied a rightful goal, had Lampard's deflector off the cross bar ... the rest was just pathetic.

As expected, the flow of German passing was simply poetic.

A hallmark of basic football; most of the time, when player A delivers the pass, there is no player B at the spot to collect it; the ball and player B travel and reach the spot simultaneously.

The young German midfield outran and exposed the disoriented English defence. I doubt anyone outside Europe would have even heard of Mueller, Oezil et al before this WC. Even the defence showed brilliance, especially Frederic. Neuer too made a couple of amazing saves.

Barring Lampard, none of the Englishmen made a mark. Rooney was rusty, and heavily marked as well.

The English Press will hound the players and coach for a while to come. I hope 'the Goal that should have been' does not initiate a diplomatic row between England and Uruguay. Capello will try to piggyback on the goal line controversy. True, A pumped English side going into 2nd half at 2-2 would have been way more exciting, but I believe Germany would have won anyway.

What if the goal had been given? What if if Lampard's deflector off the cross bar had sneaked in?

That's sports, Ifs and Buts don't count. 44 years ago England got lucky at Wemberly, it simply was Germany's turn this time. This will never go away, like Maradona's Hand of God in '86, but I hope the 4-1 scoreline and horrible English defence will ensure that this match is not remembered for only this in years to come.

It also marked the end of an era in English football; the ultimate glory will elude the likes of Lampard, Terry, Gerard for the rest of their lives.

On a very amusing note, both teams reminded me of our Cricket team in some ways; The English Star Studded team resembled the Indian ODI Team that crashed out of the ICC Champions Trophy; and the young imposing Germans reminded me of MSD's young team which brought home the first T20 World Cup. Incidentally, tournaments associated with both those memories and this WC were all hosted in South Africa.

Waiting for Capetown match next Saturday. I feel Argentina will beat Mexico today and then beat Germany coming Saturday. But the best thing about football is that the private leagues have distributed talent, wealth and game's knowledge across countries, and on its day any country can be dangerous. Ask that to France and Italy.

I am supporting Germany, Argentina and Spain wholeheartedly in this WC. I feel so WOW right now, may I live ti cheer India on a football WC stage. Meanwhile, the Cricket ODI 2011 WC will be as good. (fingers crossed)

I did not know before the commentator made the reference. Here below is the backdrop underlying the importance of today's goal line controversy :

In 1966, England and Germany were 2-2 in extra time in the World Cup final when Geoff Hurst's shot struck the underside of the crossbar, bounced down and spun back into play. That time, the referee consulted his linesman, who awarded the goal.

Hurst went on to score a third goal in England's 4-2 victory at Wembley.

Football, India

Had an interesting discussion today ... what will happen first?

An Indian team qualifying into Football WC Finals or India winning a bid to host Football WC owing to its Economic Might and huge fan base..

Of course, if we do host the cup our team will get in by default.

So, quite a few things came up which most people don't know about Indian Football ...

A. India qualified fr 1950 WC; withdrew coz FIFA rejected their request to play barefoot.

B. India won the 1951 & 1962 Asian Games gold.

C. India finished fourth in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics.

D. India's current rank is 133.

E. WC Qualifiers included 208 countries, some not even members of United Nations.

F. Even China was there in 2002 WC (Ans now they are sending full strength Cricket team to Asian games)

Here is my take on why India sucks at football...

A. Infrastructure; no playgrounds in schools etc etc.

B. Come on, we are not really built sturdy by default Like Europeans. We have to work fr it.

C. Cultural issues; First, sports has always been the second fiddle to academics across the country. Second, I think Indians just cannot perform in a random team; no team spirit.

Sometimes like minded individuals get together and produce results. Sometimes good systems in place ensure delivery. Sometimes the group feels a bonding due to weird reasons; caste, language, region and so on.

I have yet to see a total group of strangers in India willing to work together towards a goal; the grandeur of success, the sense of achieving something together doesn't generate the same motivation.

Thats why we have individual Sporting icons;

Ashok Amritraj, Vishwanathan Anand, Paes and Bhupati, Geet Sethi, Narayan Karthikeyan, Vijender singh, Abhinav Bindra, Sushil Kumar, Saina Nehwal, Sania Mirza, Jyoti Randhawa, Jeev Milkha Singh.

Even our Cricketing success has been fueled by individuals ... we never play as a team, barring few exceptions. I mean, look at New Zealand and Aussies, they play cricket as a team.

I got a thrashing from many as I pointed the 3rd reason, and fought like hell defending my stand. I played football in college. I know what that sport is like, and I would end this blog by praying that I am proven wrong. Points A and B are small, it's point C that is holding us back.

Blood

When was the last time you bled? I mean blood dripping out of some wound in your body?
It doesn't happen much. And it is horrible if it does.

Last week I accidentally sliced my little finger of right hand across a glass pane.

The feeling is weird. To break it down bit-by-bit, the first sensation i felt was the touch of an object to my finger. Immediate next sensation was that the object was cold; Summer has arrived in Mumbai and a touch of something cold gets immediately registered by the mind.

And then came the pain; I could actually feel the split of skin millimeter by millimeter. As I turned to look at my finger I saw the horror. Blood gushing out; literally gushing. In seconds my hand was filled with blood up to the elbow, and drops were spluttering on the floor below.

It all happened so fast, one just goes haywire seeing all that blood and feeling all that pain. I gathered myself and rushed to get cotton and Dettol ... I pressed it real hard on the wound as I winced in pain. As the bleeding sopped in few minutes, I washed my right arm, scrapped the dry blood off my forearm. The throbbing pain was still there.
I went to the doctor, got it dressed, and came back.

Now, all this was over in less than an hour. But what an experience. As I think about it in hindsight, I feel weird that my blood gushing out like that actually fascinated me. In fact, as I was doing stuff on my laptop the next day, holding the mouse put pressure on my finger wound and it split open again. I did feel the increasing pain but didn't pay attention until I saw red streak appear across my bandage. I even took a picture of it then with my cell. Thank God it was a trickle this time.


The doctor told me to go easy for a couple of days as the cut was very deep. The friends of mine who saw the wound laughed at it because it looks so tiny now. I can understand them; after all, they didn't see the blood and didn't feel the pain.

I still don't get it why I was so fascinated by my blood. Maybe because it is so rare; that last tine I recall it happen this was was way back in college, as I bruises mt arm and knee in a Football match.
I wish it remains really rare.

Waah Waah weekend

People talk a lot about weekend getaways and escapes. I had a different this saturday in Feb. It started in late afternoon being one thing, and ended being quite something else.

I learnt a couple of weeks back that the price of a 1 TB External hard disc has gone below Rs 4500/-. Being a sucker of data storage space I want to keep everything; all movies, all TV Shows, all Photos, all Setups and so on. And so I decided to go to Lamington Road.

We made a pit stop at the Alpha stores in Andheri west. Those stores are one of the kind as well.

Finally we reached Lamington road. The road's name has something to do with Lord Lamington's arrival in early 20th century. Anyways, as we scanned the whole place, I was reminded of Chandni Chowk in Kolkata. A similar huge market with electronic stuff floating everywhere. Unfortunately I did not get my hard disc as the prices had shot up dramatically owing to low supply. I could have never imagined before that Electronic items could have a spot market as well.

Totally drenched in sweat, having walked close to 2 km up and down the road, both me and Rahul were dead exhausted. We both dialed anybody and everybody we knew to get hold of how to get to Bhagat Tarachand. But inside our mind was lurking that feeling;

"It's a weekend, and we've been roaming around in dust and heat on foot for close to 3 hours . It will be a disrespect to the spirit of weekend if we go straight for dinner skipping alcohol"

Thus it was decided on the spot; Beer is on the cards. But there were no good around to go and chill out for some time, so went straight near Zaveri Bazaar area, to find something close to Bhagat Tarachand. We ended up finding a very regular bar, where we had Carlsberg and talked about stuff for more than an hour. The local deep fried snacks and green chutney there deserves a special mention.



Finally, we made our way to the gali to eat, and were stunned to find 6 or 7 Bhagat Tarachand restaurants face to face. Which one is the original? We were determined to eat in the original one only, else this trip would be such a waste. We inquired around, went into the wrong one, and then were redirected to the original one by a person dining in the wrong one.

Once we sat down to eat, we were super hungry and tired. We started with the best thing;

Super chilled buttermilk served in beer bottles


It was an amazing experience. We had dal, paneer, churma, roti made of makka and bajra... authentic punjabi taste all the way. At the end of it we were so full it was hard to move. We had to let go our desires to have gajar halwa, rabdi and lassi. And this all cost us less than Rs 150 /- per head. That in itself was a pleasant shock to us, who are used to shelling out a 1000 bucks on a regular full blown weekend outing.



I re-discovered that Saturday that it's not always about getting to Lonavala, Kashid, Matheran or Alibaug. You need not watch a single movie either. Malls can be given a pass. All the Hard Rock Cafes and Leopolds can be given a pass. Just get out of the comfort zone and see new stuff. It was the most enriching weekend experience we had in a long long time.

Farewell

Friday 5th march was the last day in office of one of my colleagues. Rathod left the organization to 'pursue better opportunities'. Knowing the circumstances and reasons he was leaving, I felt real good for him. I told him that day that I will write a blog on him, his time spent here, and his departure. I wasn't serious then. After all, I think of writing a blog about anything and everything all the time.

And here I am writing this very blog. When you leave some place, or when someone around you leaves elsewhere, the realization never sinks in until it actually happens. I know, it sounds cliche, but after the initial shock/surprise when the news first breaks, things again start to settle down. The reality begins to dawn once the final goodbyes are said. Like today, when before going for lunch, I inadvertently tried to ping him on SameTime, only to realize in an instant that he isn't here anymore. It’s moments like this one which slowly but surely bring forth the fact.

I've felt like this before; when mangaa (Gourav Dash) left Cogni, when Sid bhai transferred to Mumbai, when Shyam transferred to Bangalore. This is how it begins; the disintegration of a group in any place. When Nigam left, I was myself in such a hurry going to Germany that I missed the last goodbyes. But I realized he wasn't there on my return.
One of my collage friend has a theory on this; he says that for working bachelors in India, colleagues/roommates/girlfriends (in some cases) become as close as family, because most of us hardly see our actual family twice a year. And so, when someone from the core group leaves, the change in social support structure fills slowly.
As the Metallica song goes, "The memory remains"

I remember when Vivek came here in April last year; straight into my project. Being from Cogni Mumbai, I knew a bit about him beforehand (courtesy Rahul and Chinmay). I had a good rapport with him instantly and we started working on stuff together. Working together was fun, as we were both so-so in PRPC, but wanted to work. Also we had our Cogni anecdotes to share. I even started to like his eccentricities with time. We had the best of times in numerous KT Sessions and weekend Production Supports when I went over to stay at his place. The weekend when we worked at a stretch 6:00 am - 1:30 am was the best. Irritating asshole he was then, and remains to this day, no doubt.

Time went by, I moved to a different team, but we still chilled out together. Rathod remained an integral part of our group till the very end. He was a pain in the ass most of the time. More often than not, he was the detonator that set Chinmay off. In one year, we all knew each other pretty well … work life, love life, college days, family, insecurities, ambitions. We found out the three most important things in his life; Tomatoes, rasgulla and Amitabh Bachchan. Each of them reminds me of some small things. The way he would fight tooth and nail with the Cafeteria guys to get one extra rasgulla by paying more, the way he was completely turned-off when a beautiful girl ordering a sandwich besides him told the guy 'bhaiya tamaatar kam daalna', and how he loves horrendous movies like Laal Baadshah and Mrityudata just because of the Big B.



His last day was pretty cool. He was being badgered by one and all to get senti and cry before leaving. Everything happened over the day as he rushed about getting clearances; last trip to cafeteria, last trip to Paradigm B, his farewell Jumbo King treat, the customary snaps. But the image that everyone will remember will be the last couple of hours as he sat in his seat, surrounded by all. He sat cowered, hunched a little. He did not speak anything. A weird smile played on his face. He was sad. He just wanted it all to be over and go home. We were all sitting around, teasing him, reading the comments written by all in his farewell card one by one.

I really felt bad, because there are very few people who know all about you and to whom you can talk to about anything at anytime without being pretentious. He was that way. A guy who thinks different about money, girls, work, life …. I, like most others disagree with him on all; we've all argued with him on each of this every now and then. But he has his fundaas (weird fundaas, I repeat). He knows what he wants and how he wants it. He is a mature badass

I doubt I will ever find a guy who falls asleep in a blink.. I really want to be there when he first tastes alcohol. I hopes he gets a 1 TB hard disc and downloads more things like Coke Studio. The good thing is that because of some reasons I visit Pune regularly, so hopefully I'll meet him occasionally.



He wanted me to put his last email in the blog; it was sent to a select few:


Hi, I just wanted to share a line that’s been dear to me during these days…..It states….“You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.” Not sure as to how much of me I will leave behind… But I am sure… I’ll carry those sweet little memories of working with a group of frens who have grown to become an integral part of my Life…..
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Note: I am mentioning certain words which have enriched our vocabulary courtesy him
fish , freak, BhaisChand, Bhoss***, jamvaanu , snakes, custard

P.S
This was my farewell gift to a wonderful person who will be missed by one and all
(fingers crossed)

Weather

That red hot beast called summer is upon us. Again. The reason I am talking about weather is because I am idle, and as my mind goes adrift I recall a part of the lengthy conversation I had with a girl in train last night. This part basically revolved around whenever anyone is asked about their favourite season, they never say summer.
Anyways, as I am thinking what to write in this blog, and why I started writing this without a clue, I start thinking about me and the weather. I have no favourite season as such. I love the hot chai in winter and cold beer in summer (Actually i will love cold beer anytime).

Well, as I think about it even more (Yes, I am that bored), I had an epiphany. I don't love any season per se. What I love is the change in seasons. In this changing world, where a hyper-active-impatient maniac like me gets bored with anything and everything, a changing weather calms my mind.

Changing weather is cyclical, fixed. I can rely upon the fact that summer will follow winter. Nowadays, you can't be sure of anything. Surprises are a way of life. Maybe a friend of yours will change jobs and deprive you of awesome company. Maybe you will win a lottery. Maybe your boss will change. Maybe someone close to you will die in a car accident or a terror blast. Maybe you will get an exam score that will shake you to the core. Maybe you will get to experience Serendipity. None of us realize the stress caused by this emotional baggage we carry each day. I say so because this is subconscious.

So, on that note, even though Global Warming and Climate change are playing havoc with climate patterns, I'm glad that weather changes.

And I'm sure you will be glad as well that this blog has ended, he he he
P.S. I am feeling impatient again.

Mazaa aa gaya ...

What a match !!!
As I woke up today in the morning, the thought of yesterday's washout at Eden Gardens came to me and I suddenly felt very bad. My lappy was on, and I instantly posted on my Facebook, "There goes our number one ranking"
But what a day it turned out to be ... yaar Eden Gardens ki to baat hi kuchh aur hai ...

In fact, the whole match was akin to a bollywood masala movie. India down and out first day when SA were 280/1 ... then we end the day with SA at 296/9 ... Then we have 4 centuries ... then the Rain Gods spoil the party and we loose so much time ... then Sun shines bright the next day ... Zaheer sits out ... the last wicket lasts for 15 overs ... and we win in the penultimate over.

The thing is, I am feeling so cheerful now ... In fact it always happens when India wins at Cricket. It feels like I'm on an anti-depressant drug. I feel happy about anything and everything. I want to sing and dance and party. Life is still the same; the things which ought to suck still stuck. Nothing has changed. But I feel so damn blessed.

I told this to a couple of my collegues and they jeered at me. So I didn't say this to anyone else. But I will not forget how the Breakout area in office fills up when someone is in the 90s, or the spontaneous loud cheering today when Morkel went down.

I don't follow Cricket now as I used to when I was in school, when even a Zimbabwe-Bangladesh match used to be of so prime importance. I used to remember all stats of all players. I still followed India religiously in college, not so much for the other teams (except Aussies vs Proteas); I myself was deep into playing Football and Volleyball. Time rolled, and Cricket worshiping took a back-seat.

In the end, as I ponder more over it, I think it comes from the heart; nothing can match that built-up of anxiety and the euphoria that follows. How can anyone not feel the adrenaline rush when Bhajji ran all over the ground after the last wicket. The last couple of hours were the best. With every ball, I felt as if my life and death depended on it.

Whatever, we are at the top. I think the seeds sown in teenage years will have this effect on me forever.

That effect will never go...

I dont want it to go...
I hope it never goes...

Living alone

2009 started on a splendid note.

I was now living alone in Mumbai. For the first time ever in my life, there was nobody when I got home. As a kid in Bhopal there were Parents and my Bro all the time; not to forget the constant presence of very close relatives. In college there was that quintessential group of jerkoff friends who were always there. In Calcutta, there was Thakur Saab, and then the amigos from EE-146. Even in Mumbai, there was the Kandiwali phase for few days.

Living alone is commonplace in western countries, but kind of rare in India. Maybe it has to do with costs of living alone. Or maybe because living with friends is so much fun. Generally, in India we go from

Living with Parents --->>> Living with Friends --->>> Living with wife and own family

Even I happened live alone accidentaly by a set of peculiar circumstances.

Living alone is weird in a few ways. You are responsible for everything. You have to do everything. You have to Plan for everything. All the bills, all the work to be done in the house, regular maintenance. And suddenly, there is so much time ....
It is an all together different level of personal growth. It pushed me out of my comfort zone like never before. I liked it, because it forced me to exercise my foresight, and be aware of everything. Everthing has to be done by you, and you only. Eventually, I even had to shun my regular maid, and start taking care of the whole house all by myself; end to end stuff. Well, I do get a daily worker twice a month for cleaning, laundry and washing. Apart from that, I am on my own.
This has put me in predicament a few times; as this means if I don't move, nothing gets done. Period. Everything is completely up to me. The house has had all kinds of looks over these months now; from a disgusting bachelor's den to a sparking hotel room. Most of the times, it lies somewhere in the middle.
I got a huge scare when I had viral Flu in mid August. That was the toughest time I faced here. All alone, very weak, the antibiotics kill all appetite, news channels blaring the advance of Swine Flu in India, the fact that I couldn't even call others to meet as Flu is contagious, no laptop or TV as they strained eyes and gave me a killer headache.
I have done a lot of work here. I supervised the white-wash of the whole house before I moved in. There have been a four huge plumbing jobs done. This includes twice the overflowing of sink from the sink water of the flats above due to choking of the pipe below.
I also bought lots of stuff on my own for the house. A refrigerator, LCD, Set top box, lots of Kitchenware, furniture etc etc. It was the first time in my life when I did so much of market research across so many things for stuff to be bought for me with my own money.
I have also started working in the kitchen. I make quite a few regular things nowadays. I have realised that standing there and cooking isn't a pain for me at all. I will never cook regularly as such, but I think I like it as a great way of breaking the monotonous routine. I take my Lappy in there, put on some stuff and just have some fun.
Another thing I've experienced since moving here is the arrival of "Guests". There is a regular flow of people in my house, usually for a day or two. Quite a times because I stay close to the Airport. Few are relatives, mostly they are friends. It's funny how I perceive my own house entirely differently just before the guest is about to come. Of Course, the perception heavily depends on who the guest is. Almost all of them point out things around the house, mostly good, few bad. Everyone gives suggestions. I listen to them all, patiently. Eventually, the changes I make to the overall scheme of things depends on one single fact; this house, and everything within should suit me.
Living alone gives a lot of time for yourself. If I actually list down the things I have been able to do because of this uninterrupted time for myself, it would be a different blog in itself. To summarise, I've read around 30 books last year (Notable being Kane and Abel, The Lost symbol, Imagining India, Shantaram), seen 8 new TV Shows and tonnes of movies. I get to study more as well, as there are no distractions when you feel like studying.
Lot of friends ask me, don't u feel bored and lonely. Well, it was a bit awkward initially, but I have always felt short of time for so much stuff I like to do other than work. Once you have so much to occupy yourself, it really isn't that hard. Weekdays I am in office around 10 hours. So, I love the peace, quiet and solitude once I get home. And on weekends, It's me who is out most of the time. Either at some friend's/cousin's place, maybe out of station, or someone comes over to my house. It was surprising to find out how most people are uncomfortable when left all to themselves on a regular basis. I read this line on some other blog,"The solution to loneliness is not in seeking a company. The solution to loneliness is in – not minding being lonely."
I feel everyone should stay alone at least for a few months. The sooner we start it, the better. It's a fascinating journey of self discovery.

Why I think I should have a business

I was watching TV the other night, a panel discussion on one of the business news channels, and one of the panelist said in the course of his argument
"Mind your own business"
This phrase originated in the west. Over generations its implied meaning has metamorphosis into "Don't bother me"
But the literal meaning originated from the basic ethos of a Capitalist society. The fact that anyone could say to anyone "Mind your own business" because everyone had a business. There was no middle class and no salaried employees, no big corporates and no lobbies.
I am not an entrepreneur and my risk appetite is very low. And I still want to start my own business; for one simple reason.
I WANT MORE ROOM TO CUT CORNERS IN PAYING MY TAXES
It's a genuine reason. The Government milks us salaried class to the hilt because every penny we earn has a perfect paper trail. We have to show our investments, else we get screwed even before we get paid; fucking TDS. We have no source of unaccounted earnings.
I don't have anything against paying taxes per se. It's just that I don't think I owe my taxes to the Government. This is a democratic society, and barring extraordinary situations (war, epidemics, natural calamities etc) I want to know why my money is being wasted. I am not satisfied by the chalta hai attitude, saying that its India, we are a poor country, corruption is rampant, there is no inclusive growth blah blah blah.
I am a educated, concerned and aware citizen. These issues are real and must be addressed. But they are for the Government to solve. That's why they get elected. That's why they get all freebies and facilities from the State.
Subsidies never reach the intended people. Police and Legal system are hollow. their nexus with crime and politics gives no elbow room to straight people like me. Industrial lobbying and vote bank politics will always mean that a salaried honest middle class guy is bound to get screwed.
So, if I am not getting my money's worth (roads, healthcare, water, law & order, justice) I want to embark on an endeavor where I can use the loopholes in Government tax structure to cut myself a larger piece of pie.
Sometimes it is so frustrating that I feel I should have an option, there should be more than one Government, and I should be able to decide to whom should I pay my tax to. The noose around the neck of the salaried employee has tightened further after the introduction of PAN. I don't forsee any system in near future where business transactions will be effectively tracked. Maybe the day will come when Technology, change in voter demographics and generl increased levels of prosperity and education across sections of society will make things better. But I have a strong feeling I won't live to see that day, and my patience is running out.
Right now, I feel angry and used up. And so, I want to start my own business.

And it continues

Well, finished watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S ... the tenth time. It started way back, in 2005.

And I a pretty sure the eleventh time would have begun by the end of next year.

Yeah, there are things other than Wine and Single malt which get better with time.

It Sucks to be sucked into work

I wanted to be home early today. Mainly coz of the match to be played tomorrow morning.
I did not sleep much last night ... several reasons; Phone calls, Wonder Years, Girls in my dreams ...
Anyway, the gist of the matter being I wanted to sleep big time. And there was no way I was going to miss Tuesday morning's Cricket. After all, Saturday was so much fun ...
And guess what, things actually went wrong at office.
As I watched my colleagues leave office one by one, while I was stuck deploying a war file.
I mean, it's a darn simple procedure a two year old can do in 5 minutes; it's no rocket science once you know it. But something went wrong... horribly wrong.


I got exceptions of the kind and size I had never seen before. No help was at hand. My US counterparts were having an off day celebrating Columbus Day (Thanks to Teddy Roosevelt). And the Indians were already cozy in their homes ....
As I battled the horrible errors, my frustration began to mount. Here I was, bursting my brains out for an answer, while everyone else was enjoying, thanks to democracy and the election vacation it brought with it.


It kept on building, until I snapped. Most likely, the error was out of my league. I had done all I knew a million times. Nothing helped, not the online help for Weblogic neither the scores of Log file entries.
Moreover, I needed a few access IDs to probe further, and as I said, nobody was there.
In the end, after all that sweat, I narrowed it down to three possibilities. First, maybe the war file had gotten corrupt. No big deal, happens frequently. Second, maybe the file had been accidentally placed at the incorrect location in the server. And thirdly, that there might have been an issue with the rights of that file/containing folder.
I really really hope that the reason is one of the three. Else, all that hard work done alone in the office would amount to nothing. It would make a big stupid out of me if tomorrow the error turned out to be something which I could have fixed by myself.
Anyways, may I bat and bowl and field and argue like a true champion tomorrow. AMEN.

Saturday Morning Cricket

The Gladiators... another one is behind the camera.. me

The weekend has definitely started with a bang. Work finished on a good note in office yesterday, followed by an impromptu beer party late night, and now today morning, the gala event ... a cricket match.

The wheels of today morning's events were set in motion by a discussion at the start of the week by the regular Cricket enthusiasts of our office. One thing led to another, including a tasteful chain mail on Thursday, and generous contributions by people (in some cases unwillingly).
Once the funds were in order, the whole gear was bought which included a baseball kit for a cricket game.
Now lets get one thing straight. It is not easy to wake up at 6 am on a weekend when tons and tons of Beer has been consumed the previous night.
But as fate had it, after calls being made all around to get people out of beds, we were there on the field in Kandiwali.

All in all, the game and it's vibe cannot be described in words. But still a few stellar moments will remain etched in the memory of most who were a part of today's celebration. Moments when champions were born, revenge was taken, reputations were tossed ...

1. We found two genuine all rounders ; Siddharth and Sreenath. They carried the teams, with their batting, bowling, fielding, arguing and cheating skills.

...................... Him and of the Gutter ....................

2. We discovered that we are as a group gifted with a bunch of truly besharam sportsmen around us; with few like Ankit, Siddharth, Nigam and Vinay standing out.

............................... Body builder allrounder ..............

2. The Dark horse was Vinay, whom everyone perceived to be a kachchi goti before the game. But he showed that he has the mettle to swing the bat towards leg side off each and every ball bowled by each and every bowler. His blitzkrieg in the first match was a moral breaking innings for the opponents (Sid, Nigam, Ankit). From next time, there will be no off side field for him.

.................... Loosers to pay for breakfast .....................

3. The back-breaking over by Chinmay when he uprooted the stumps of Ankit and Nigam, ensuring a speedy end to an already lost match.

......................... The Devastating Over ..........................

3. It still remains a concrete fact that ball wire se nahi lagee thee , courtesy Ankit.

4. The outburst by the last man standing, Chinmay, when he found out that his right to stand his ground were being denied as the last wicket (Rahul) was caught and bowled by Sreenath.
ye sab kya bakwaas hai
Main ghar jaa raha hu
Main nahi khel raha
This legendary whining reminded me of the time I was in 4th class and used to bitch around and get my way (owing to the best bat on the block)

5. The comeback over by Ankit followed by the life Chinmay got after that, where he had his revenge by claiming his wicket. It could have been a first ball wicket caught by the keeper, Rahul. Bur unfortunately Rahul's Team Spirit far exceeded his Sportsman Spirit, as he dropped the catch.

.............................. Taandav Mudra ............................
6. Rahul was the most relaxed person on the ground. Barring his laziness, he proved to be a good guy to have on your side. Also, no one dances like him.

........................... The Unbeaten ..................
7. Nigam thinks he has silenced everyone by his brilliant unbeaten Opener's knock. He will soon realise that things wont change in any way.

8. Sid Shukla played knock of the day, the only 50 scored, to clinch the last match.

.................... Food is Always Good ............
So, 4 matches down, we emerged victorious men. We headed to get our brunch, after retrieving the balls from dubious places and packing our gear. Our appetite was well served, and the presence of Thakur College chicks made things better.

................... Very Very hungry .....................


We will meet again next Tuesday, same place, hopefully a bit earlier ... and the baseball bat may come in handy that day ... The worst loss in 4 matches (Team winner of Fair Play award)