People

I dedicate this song to condemn the malice and hatred prevailing in this beautiful world.To the society that interfares in an individual's life, curbing his status,his instinct,drowning his soul in blood.

I also want to spare a few words for the song "Lake of fire" from Nirvana...it made the thoughts on my mind jut flow out on paper

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People

People,walking down the street
People,in a crowd discreet
People,ya they do mistreat
People,they wont retreat

People,judging you
People,walking all over you
People,teaching you
People,preaching you

You,You may fight back
You may try to walk your track
You,'ll be framed a rebel
You,'ll be made to shiver and treble

And You, you stand alone
You, just another clone
Feel like your mind is blown
Yeah,your blood has flown

Be original, please will you?
Be what you truly are
And when cobwebs consume you
remember a booming flower

THOUGHT OF THE MOMENT :

Break on through to the other side

The enigma called "COLLEGE"

I wrote down these lines in the agony and pain of studying in our education system. Frustrated to the edge and listening to "Another brick in the wall"

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There it comes again,that dreadful moment. Sunday night.Its 3:00 am. I should be in bed right now,because I have a fucking "class" to attend tomorrow, 8:00 am.

There comes the burden of assignments,reloaded. I was supposed to do a couple of problems for the first class, and bring a log-log graph paper for the second one. I have done neither. Can I skip tomorrow?

Well,the answer is obviously NO. Gotta be a good student, you see. Thats what my parents send me here for. To become a good engineer, to learn stuff, to excell in my career and so on.Naah...I should cut the crap - my attendence is'nt that impressive.

But the weekend blows all this shit out of everybody's mind. Its friday 4:30 pm and whoooaaaaaaaaa !!!
All hell breaks loose. One can see it all...The smirk on everyone's face,that they've successfully (God knows) swam through another week,fulfilling their credits.The happiness and joy is in the air. Its all happening.Reckless madness prevails everywhere...the canteen,the playgrounds,the hostels,the mess...

And then the two days pass by. You really dont know it until its closing time.Weekend are always toooo short.

Yep. The honeymoon gets over. You see ahead the mountain that you have to scale.Sometimes it gets cold and misty,sometimes it throws fire.The very thought of it leaves me miserable.The 5 long days that lie ahead seem an everlasting,daunting task. Another week of lectures. Another week of getting up early. Another week of being ridiculed by Professors.Its a viscious circle,the sarcasm just never ends.

But still we carry on. we are the brave new generation that knows how to live through this madness. We work together. We share, we cooperate,we save each others ass and we sail through the storm. The uphill ride isnt always the most easy one, but it sure makes a man out of us.

The academic credentials we obtain though this tortorous regime are credible. But there's much more to college than this. It defines our professional character. It provides us a peep into the world that lies outside the campus walls. It teaches us how to cope with idiots, how to deal with systems, how to bend rules, how to save our conscience in the midst of the joke that this society is. Its all about finding your own voice in the crowd.

My college is almost over, and this makes me sad. I can't even imagine my life without this schedule.I've been institutionalised. I've learned so much here...

I guess college education is a hell lot more than just academics. It puts you in typical "catch-22" situations,where your moral fibre is questioned. The whole thing seems absurd,but its the truth. You meet people. you get to know that the worls isnt fair. Once the initial shock sets in, you are ready to Rock n Roll. Thats what its all about. Thats the sole education that every body inevitably attains ... how to decide at the crossroads of life !!!

HOW TO DECIDE

Its 3:45 am now.The Proff will definitely kick me out. But I'm not worried. I can handle it. I'll HAVE to handle it. Thats how life is .. once the wheels are set in motion, one has to carry on.

Kudos to the valour of youth and the splendour of a free mind.


THOUGHT OF THE MOMENT :

From "Rang de basanti"

College ke gate ke is taraf hum log duniya ko nachate hai
Aur gate ke us paar duniya hame nachati hai

My existence is in vain

Another poetic outburst of mine . . . I would like to pay regards to my Professors whose dull and boring classrooms spur students and make them realise new heights of creativity.
In no other circumstances do I see myself writing a ROMANTIC poem.
As a pure piece of creativity, it sucks. But something like this from a guy like me, that counts for something.

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I'm sitting alone, the breeze soothing my hair
I feel empty, don't know to go where

I've had my share of failure
Truly speaking, I really dont care

Am I a looser,well, I hav no regrett
But there's sth I need, and I reach for a cigarette

But Somewhere inside, I know I miss her
Her very thought makes my inside stir

Perhaps I had a chance
I shud've taken a stance
But I screwed it up
And now I've my empty cup

She makes me burn
She makes me cry
Although I've been cynical
I ought to giv it a try

She's a gentle breeze, she is my vintage wine
No..there's no sleeze, she's my little shrine

She reaches into me, and I connect to her
As I think of her, everything goes blurr

I see her, though she is faceless
I feel her, don't tell me it's baseless

I've never felt so, she's just amazing
Feels as I'm gonna melt, when she comes blazing

Her serenity resembles the moonlight
The thought of loosing her, gives me sheer fright

She's my destiny, and I need to follow
Or else,the bitter truth, I'll have to swallow

No one can take her from me
she's in my mind
And as they say
Love is blind

She's my soul
She's my life
I want her to be my friend
And more throughout my life

The thought of being without her, freaks me out
I feel numb, shadowy fear begins to sprout

I've got to tell her
I've nothing to fear
And as I think of it
I've got in my eye a tear

Would it be flowers
Or mere words would do
Would there be monsoon showers
There're expectations I've to live up to

I'm wasted, but not useless
GOD I'll try, not being faceless

There I go, talking about God
Myself being an agnostic, this sure is fraud

She makes me do things I never dream of
The thought of being apart, makes me scream off

I see hope, thats all I see
Coz I cant live this way
And she'll come, smiling at me
And all my fears will flay

A new sky and a new earth
The candle will light
A new me will take birth
I'll not give up, not without a fight

And that will be
The beginning of an odeyssey
Which'll pull my life, out of mediocracy

So I pray, on the edge of love
I wanna live again
All along I've been in pain
Now I rise and make my claim
As without her,my existence is in vain
my existence is in vain
my existence is in vain
my existence is in vain
.....

A HARMLESS VICE

Almost a third of my batchmates smoke. And around a fifth of them are regular ones. I wrote this just out of the blue ... from the perspective of a smoker.

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I was a good boy … I didn’t smoke.
But now…I’m a regular , and sometimes I wonder.... Why the hell do I smoke ?

There seems to be no answer....and pondering over the thought, I reach out for another ciggerate.

CIGGERETE SMOKING IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH. We all know it. The psyche of a common person is bombarded with this notion ever since he/she is born.Its all over the place......television, print, even on ciggerette packets.... and still 60% people people on this planet die a premature death because of smoking.

Why does then a sensible person start to smoke? And why can't he quit ? I bet this riddle would give Einstein a run for his money.

The intense Anti-smokine campaign that a child is subjected to right from the begining has its effect. Young restless minds are there for moulding. Its a spectacular campaign, supported by the three pillars of modern society : politicians,attorneys and Media.

The child knows right from the begining "its bad to smoke". The initial prejudice is very strong....and still, somewhere, somehow, the instinct prevails.

Normally its a dejected, bereft teenager, albeit with some guts, that picks the ciggerate.
Somewhere down the line,the image of a macho (not physically) gets reinforced (Owing to media campaigns by tobacco companies: courtsey Marlboro). Everybody loves a rebel, and smoking is a harmless vice, which sends the message. The feeling of defying the usual societal norm satisfies the Ego of the teenager,giving him a sense of pride and self esteem.

In some cases, the prejudice is weakened if someone elder in the family smokes. This nudges a normal child towards it, owing primarily to curiosity. And then before he knows, it become a habit. And by the time he realises it has become a habit, it actually has become an addiction.

Another major factor is "peer presure".These are usually the school/college friends of the person who starts smoking on his own. They start it as they are too weak to take this decision on their own, and are glad to find someone near to look up to, someone around, who is of same age. These are the guys who usually become chain smokers, because they lack the spine to revert to the non-smoking lifestyle later on.

Another category is of people who want to have an experience of everything. These guys are usually the achievers in life. Good academic record, sound financial background, a belief in themselves (could be somewhat misplaced). They have the desire to remain a step ahead of contemporaries.... to show off that they are allrounders. They primarily believe in the philosophy of "been there, done that".These guys usually quit once they've proven their point...or maybe when their parents ask him/her to do so... or maybe when their spouse asks him/her to do so... or at least when the doctors tell them some years later that they have to give up to live.

What makes people continue smoking? Once the initial age passes, and better sense sets in, what makes people continue with their puffs ...

I guess the answer lies within the individual.the smoker and his cigeratte - Its an intimate relationship...very very private.

Whenever you are in distress, the cigarette is always there. Whenever you are sad, the cigarette is always there. Whenever you are at a loss of words, the cigarette is always there. Whenever you want to celebrate, the cigarette is always there. It doesn't ask awkward uncomfortable questions, it doesn't give advice, it doesn't expect anything from you...
No matter at what crossroad you are in your life, THE CIGARETTE IS ALWAYS THERE.

The psychological effect is hard hitting, and the person thinks of the cigarette as his/her best friend. Someone who'll be there, always.

The relationship has no hassles... no misunderstandings, no commitments, no ego clashes.

This also acts as the strong bridge that often forms the crux of matter between friends. It's true, at any given place, in a group of total strangers, those who smoke are most likely to form the best group ... and that too in no time.The urge to be together is very strong,as very few like to smoke alone. A smoker instinctively likes another smoker, feels comfortable in the other's presence.

This habit reduces the insecurity of a common day to day looser. The person feels complete with a cigeratte in his hand. It becomes an indispensible part of his life. It consumes the person. The enigmatic wisps of smoke take their toll, slowly.

But smoking is bad. Period. Its effects on your health are simply unmanagable once you get addicted. It ruins your health, and your relationships with those around you who don't smoke. Your body craves for more nicotine, and the viscious circle engulfs you. Toubles will far outnumber your imagination .... Cancer, Heart diease, Fluctuating blood Pressure, pathetic stamina, loss of fertility, breathing problems... maybe I could write a seperate blog post on this.

I sincerely believe that the person who gives up smoking has tremendous inner strength. It's easier to reduce the no of ciggeretts from say 20-30 to 1-2 per day....but its a herculean task to reduce from 20-30 to ZERO.

Do it as soon as you can. Do it before you regrett it. Do it before you have to visit a doctor. If you enjoy smoking and think you are not addicted, try this. Keep aside at least a couple of days per week on which you wont smoke at all. Let these days be fixed to start with, then let them be picked up by someone else at random. Then move on and limit the no. of cigarettes per day. Try reshuffling your schedule to reduce the stay at "Smoke hangout points". If possible, try and reduce the time you spend with your smoking pals. Let your friends and family support you on this.

This habit dies hard, so start working on it now. Help yourself, so that one day you will be able to remember these smoking days of yours without any regret and remorse. Smoking for a short while for fun is a bliss, prevent it from becoming a nightmare. Because if it does become your nightmare, believe me, it will be of the worst kind. These will form the happy memories,the memorable time you had with your buddies, the fun you had with that cigarette in your hand ...


THOUGHT OF THE DAY :

IF YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG, THEN BETTER DO IT RIGHT

My body is in grave

I wrote this down in canteen. Just a random thought, which transpired into this poem.

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I walk on the sea shore
Looking for that wave
My heart is sore
My body's in grave

The horizons beyond becon
Nows the time to reckon

Coz life's a reckless whore
And no one's comin to save
My heart is sore
My body's in grave

We laugh for repute
We cry for repute
We live for repute
We die for repute

Somwhere whispers a lorikeet
Singing alone on a lonely street

But I feel no more
Sth's there for which I crave
My heart is sore
My body's in grave

I'm bound by a chain
Standing alone on savana plane
Bereft of joy
Could lord giv me a toy

I wanna sit n play on floor
Oh! wish i was naive
My heart is sore
My body's in grave

QUOTE:

Anything worth doing is always hard to do

Turn around

Everyone loves beauty. Even those who don't admit it....

Turn around

Moonlight piercing through the sky
Its tenderness just makes me cry
My feet are unstable on the ground
Turn around, please, turn around

I've been an idiot,I regret
But chances aren't taken without some threat
In the dreadful silence, I yearn for your sound
Turn around, please, turn around

I ignored u when u were there
I'm sorry, oh my holy prayer
Only u can heel this bleeding wound
Turn around, please, turn around

The hope within withers away
I still have my sentence to pay
Sadness engulfs me, all abound
Turn around, please, turn around

I wanna redeem, giv me a chance
I wanna touch u, I wanna dance
You'll be my princess, happy and crowned
Turn around, please, turn around


THOUGHT OF THE MOMENT :

I always wanted to be someone, wish I was more specific

The First Post

Well .... 1st post on this blog.

Nth much to write, hav been thinking for some time about regularly updating my journal. So,here I go....

Its saturday, no class ,and incidently ,no assignment as well. So I'm all by myself.

Its been a typically lackluster day upto now. Got up at 9 am,had breakfast. Saw a chinese movie "To Live" . Serious,tragic, set in the backdrop of Communist China from 1940s to 1970s. Good movie if you r in a mood to watch serious stuff...does get you thinking.

Getting really bored right now. The whole body is aching, coz of 9 consequtive volleyball matches played last night (we were all awake upto 3:30 am). Guess i should hav had some more sleep. Did'nt even take an afternoon nap.
It was damn too good. This time,an open tournament,knockout pattern where participants had to choose their own team.We had 5 teams (2 form 3rd year).

Exhaustive and exciting - Thats what those 4 hours were. And we, on the brink of going out in the league (had to defeat the Mining Machinery - Petro combine by at least 9 points) went on to win Volley Rockers III. Life is strange indeed.

And finally Finished Sam Walton's book on Wal-Mart yesterday (Made in America). Good read. Gave it to Parag at breakfast, who has been pestering me for quite some time now to finish the book. Interesting to know the initial growth story of a $318 bn retailing giant. Their method, approach and cultue.

As of now I'm reading YES MINISTER (By Jonathan Lynn and Anthony Jay), and its fun to know that politicians and beurocrats are more or less same all around the world. All have same thick skin, king size egos and least concern for public.

Maybe I should take a shower now and then head for the canteen, or maybe Emerald.

THOUGHT OF THE MOMENT :

" SO DARK IS THE CON OF MAN "