STOP !!!

Ohh, STOP for God's sake. Stop Plz, will ya? Its all happening too fast...whats the hurry? Common, I need a break. Its not supposed to happen like this...

But that is how the world is. We don't want things to change. Maintaining the Status Quo is always convenient.
Hell... we are all weary of the change, especially when it happens suddenly! When it's imposed on us without our consent.
And on top of that, most of these changes happen without we being able to exercise any control over them whatsoever.
BANG... and the next thing you know you're not in the place you want to be.

We need to accept the change and move on.... But hey, I am an average human... It's never that easy.

I heard of this theory regarding change: The Phases a person goes through...

1. DENIAL: We don't admit this has happened.
2.ANGER: We're pissed off... how could this happen.
3. ACCEPTANCE: Yeah, how long can one ignore the TRUTH staring in the face.
4.GUILT: The fact that we didn't embrace the change even though we knew it was true, and the efforts we could have put in the past which might have either prevented this change or made it a bit sweeter.
5.DEPRESSION: You sink low, lie there for a while...Cursing everything...youeself, the world...the society...the system...

And then as life moves on, so do we.

Most of the time, it is such change that moves the life of a lame-ass-lazy person. Else, he/she will never grow, never live... coz he is too weary of the unknown, too comfortable with the present...

WE need to embrace the fact that change is mostly a blessing in disguise. It opens new avenues in front of us, makes us take tentetive steps in the directions we never even dreamed of...

CHANGE... the only constant thing in our lives.

IIT-JEE and CAT

"Two things make the life of a good humored, fun loving nice teenage guy in India a living hell: IIT-JEE and CAT"

A very dear friend of mine quoted the above line nonchalantly; his abysmal tone was something that I could associate myself with immediately. He said it as-a-matter-of-fact; as if he was stating the so very obvious truth.
This friend of mine (I won't name him, as I'm writing this without informing him) is a very decent guy... One of the very few that I've found in my office who seems NORMAL to me... He is from a very good college, his brain works like a computer, and he is sincere (WOW, wish I had those qualities in me...). More than anything, he is a dependable friend.

This statement of his made me write this piece...the life of an average guy....a simple story, with a proper end....

Picture this scene: A young boy, in class 9th - 10th, in an average town/city in India. He bothers nothing about his life. Thoughts of career just don’t exist in his mind. He dreams of girls. Cricket is a newfound religion for him. He has had a first time brush with pornography. Having his own bike is his top-notch fantasy. Gali-Muhalla cricket/Football matches are a matter of personal pride and spiritual fulfillment.

His visions and thoughts are abruptly derailed. He asks, "Ye kya ho raha hai?" and before he even knows what is happening, he is forced into the mad-mad world of Competitive Exams. He finds himself in a whirlpool. Suddenly, he is expected to grow. Suddenly, he should mature overnight. Suddenly, spare time becomes scarce. Suddenly, tuitions become very important. It usually starts with the 10th Board exams. And then it carries on.

Then comes the inviting monster, IIT-JEE. It hurts the most kids who do well in class, and the push comes more often than not from School/Tuition teachers. For engineering aspirants, it’s a dream come true. For the Parents, it means a secure and prosperous future for the child. It means an ultimate association with a powerful brand. But what is this for the kid??
Basically a nightmare hidden in a cloak.

But just because a kid can do Math doesn’t mean he should become an engineer, isn’t it? Not everyone is supposed to be a technical person, it requires that interest in technology, curiosity to known the nagging details.

But kids still study. Around 98% end up getting depressed and hurt as they fail (which is coz of only some 4000 odd seats available). And this remains with most of them throughout their life. Few mature soon enough to let this go. But even after the pain subsides and wounds heal, the scars remain for life.

I was fortunate that I escaped this trauma. I cracked IIT-JEE. Phew, big deal. I recall everyone around me being so happy. My parents were proud of me. My relatives admired me; set me as an example to my cousins (poor guys; think of the unwanted pressure they must have gone through). Everything was Hunky Dory....except one thing. I wasn't sure what I was getting into.

I was happy. Yeah. But what was the reason? That my future was secure? Or that my effort had paid off? I knew it then, and I know it now. I was happy because the burden of studying so hard had ended. Yeah.... and that’s how teenagers think.

It's not that I hated studies. I kind of liked them. The bone of contention was that I was merely working towards something that I didn't understand. Just because I trusted and respected my parents.

And this truth reflected in my college grades. As time moved on, my rank slipped in my batch, though my friends grew, my extra curricular activities grew even more...I developed my hobbies and interests....

I realized this later on... trust, respect (and sometimes fear) of parents can motivate you only till you are confined to home. Once you live off your home premises, EVERYTHING changes. You are on your own. You primarily do what you want. PERIOD.

FAST FORWARD: FEW YEARS LATER

Picture this scene: A final year Engineering graduate. He has a normal average job in his bag. He is enjoying the last year of his blissful college life, coz now he is mature enough to understand that this time will never return. For he found himself in college. His identity unfolded before himself over the past few years. He knows what his habits are; he knows what his limits are; he knows what he is comfortable with; in all probability, he has had a taste of girlfriend; he knows smoking is bad for his health; he knows who his true friends are; he knows how to handle idiots and work with systems; he knows he has screwed up on several occasions; he knows he has potential and he can win the world if he wants; he knows how mane Pegs he can take before puking/ Passing Out...the only thing he doesn't know is “What to do with his life??”

Yeah, LIFE.

And then he sees another inviting monster. It is disguised as a sweet little innocent thing. All pure. All for your better future, All good.

Enter CAT - Common Admission Test.

It enters his consciousness with subtle steps. It dances around him like Menaka. It seduces him; causes delusions before his eyes; shows him a great future, where he could be GOD... he would yield power in the Corporate Boardrooms, he would take home lakhs and lakhs per month, Plush AC offices, his Picture on magazine covers, swanky hotel lobbies, grand Luxury cars, Business class air travel around the world, maybe an eternal romance in office, a posh n sweet showcase wife, sweet little kids...

And to add to this temptation, other forces begin to act: Peer pressure. (People look at someone who has an average job and not preparing for CAT as someone worthy of being in Aagra paagalkhaanaa). Parents come back to you, "So. Going for an MBA?"

And so, slowly and gradually, the happy-go-lucky guy who till some time back was happy and content with his life, who had sorted out his priorities and knew his limits, gets sucked into the whirlpool of expectations and promise of grandeur. And starts to prepare for CAT. Again... chances of success are miniscule (Below 2%)... and everything repeats for the guy.

I’ll be giving CAT third straight time next month. I’ve had to bear with failure a couple of times. And I know that as of now, it is a matter of luck; it always is in such exams. Of Course you need to study, that is obvious. But beyond a limit, so much depends on THAT DAY. The preparation over the past year, the percentiles in AIMCATs and SIMCATs and MOCKCATs, it all matters only to some extent. Not further.

Now, with the baggage of these mammoth failures clinging like an Albatross around his neck, the guy takes time to fight away the illusions; to back off and introspect. He removes his blindfold to see the world as he would have seen it, and he finds peace again. But it hurts him when he asks the question to himself, "Was it all worth it?"

Steamrolled by competition imposed on him, his self-esteem down, he finally decides to live life as he wants to live. Once the decision is taken, the guy returns to play his part on the world stage, with his head held high, his heart fearless...
And now he is ready to make his mark...His head is clear, his composure back....

But the years wasted along the way are lost....FOREVER.

"Chandra ki kaamna" - By Shashi Prakash Ladha

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