When they talk, LISTEN

I always like to meet new people. Always. And better, it is far more interesting and far more fruitful to get to KNOW new people. I am talking about getting to know others beyond the courtesies of Hello, Thank You and Goodbye. It is about getting to talk to them. Hear them out, what they have to say.

Everyone has his/her own perspective of life. I have, you have. A very insignificant number of people really KNOW what their perspective is. Those are the ones who are sure of what they are doing, why they are doing it. Most of us know WHAT we want. But when we have to decide at crucial junctures about the "How I want it", we all go primarily by our instinct. We decide on the spot, then and there, considering the ramifications; either thinking logically or just following our heart. However, the blurred idea of our perspective of life that we cling to in our subconscious mind is always guiding us.

I have an inkling of what my perspective is. I am unable to put it into words yet. I know it is evolving. It is something which none of us can rush through as we live each day. It gets shaped by every moment one lives.

So, when I really get talking to someone, I hear out the person, and try to sample out the few, discreet words and lines , backed by their expressions and body language. I don’t judge others this way. The only objective here is to help me restore meaning to life, looking at it through the other’s eyes.

I believe everyone finds their anchor before they die. Towards the end of life, the wisdom gathered over years of experience has to sample out what was truly important to them for all these years. And then in retrospect, everyone comes to comprehend the true force behind their actions, their decisions.

I don't know when the moment of truth will come for me and what will it will be like. I am not even sure whether there really will be a moment of truth. All I am aware of today is that I don’t want to wait to get there. I am unwilling to find about it as life takes its course.

The limitation is that I have only one life to live (to hell with re-incarnation), and only 24 hours in a day, just as every other person. So, the only way out is to share the experiences of others. Or should I say, to share the life of others... So that you will get closer to knowing who you are.

Is it unnecessary? Am I doing all this merely for my intellectual appetite? Is this just a quest to satisfy my ego? I don’t know. I know only one thing; that I need answers, even if the answer turns out to be that it was all irrelevant, and I want it as soon as possible.

Upcoming Blogs ....

It's been a long time since I posted anything... But that doesn't mean I have stopped writing..
I have written a crude draft of quite a few posts. It's just that it feels as if something is missing ...

Anyways, there will be a few of them in short while ...

1. The book MAXIMUM CITY ...
3. First Diwali at home after 6 years ...
4. Obama comes ...
5. Terror Attacks on Mumbai, 26/11.
6. Poems (Tentetive)
7. The drive on Mumbai Pune Expressway
8. Cousin's Engagement ...
9. A new way of life ...

And many more ....

Last fifteen Books I read ....

The most recent one is at number fifteen ......


1. Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900) was a nineteenth-century German philosopher and classical philologist. He wrote critical texts on religion, morality, contemporary culture, philosophy, and science, using a distinctive German language style and displaying a fondness for metaphor and aphorism.
All in all, I started reading this book for only one reason: Jim Morrison was highly influenced by his writings.... But as I read along, I loved the way he blasts every convention out of the way; moral or philosophical. The book is a sequel to " Thus Spoke Zarathustra", which I intend to read pretty soon.

2. The Client by John Grisham
This was my first John Grisham book. Prior to reading, all I knew was that he wrote novels related to law ... He is one of the few writers quite a lot of whose books have been made into movies. After reading this, I got so taken by his style of setting thrillers in a legal backdrop (always in the state of Memphis) that I ended up reading back to back three of his novels ...

3. The Firm by John Grisham

4. The Chamber by John Grisham


5. God's Debris by Scott Adams
Now, I knew Scott Adams is a name quite familiar with people, even those who aren't avid book readers, because of an ensemble of toon characters from his strip DILBERT ...
Adams' fame as the author of the Dilbert comics made publishers wary of this new book without Dilbert, so they refused to publish. Adam went ahead and released it as an e-book. Word-of-mouth publicity then ensured it's quick release in hardcover format as well ....
It tells why would God want to live at all, if he is omnipotent and omnipresent ?
Thanks to boredom at office and Chetan, who gave me the eBook ...




6. The Religion War by Scott Adams
A sequel to the previous book, where the man carrying the parcel in God's Debris is now the Avatar ... A brilliantly simplistic view depicting a future clash of civilizations between Christians and Muslims ...

7. 3 Mistakes of my Life by Chetan Bhagat

Well, his 5 point someone has ensured that I will always read any of his books; and thanks to him, many first time readers are starting of with his works rather than Sidney Sheldon. His simle language, small size of the book and low price has ensured a niche market for him. As for the book; a major improvement over the last one, One night @ the Call Center.

8. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

Now, this book was heavy stuff... I wanted to read it simply because there are always questions in any quiz related to this book (Quizzing is my part-time hobby as well)
It describes the two extremes in the kind of people around us ... perfectionists and believers in destiny ... all in the backdrop of a motorcycle ...

9. Jim Morrison: Life, Death, Legend by Stephen Davis

No words for this person. I mean, how could it be that such a vulnerable, clueless, self destructive person end up creating a persona that inspired many; and unleashed a phenomenon ...

His poems were way ahead of his time; he was the prominent catalyst of the counterculture of the 1960s and early 1970s in the United States; a reaction against the conservative government and social norms; further intensified by the Cold war and Vietnam. He was the icon of the confused and restless Baby Boomer generation ..

Just too sad that he died at 27 ...

10. Dragon Rising: An Inside Look at China Today by Jasper Becker

I picked up this one out of curiosity, not knowing the author either. I was attracted by two things; a dazzling array of glossy pictures from allover China and the publication by National Geographic. After reading it, I know of China, or rather, I understand the phenomenon called China much better now ... Qing Dynasty, Opium Wars, Chiang Kai Shek, The Great Leap from 1958 - 1962, Mao Zedong, Cultural Revolution, Deng Xiaoping, Tiananmen Square, SOEs, SEZs, China's military appetite, it's territoial claims from Vietman to Tibet ...

All in All, it made me glad I live in a shitty noisy clumsy democracy ... made me feel proud of India

11. Joker in the Pack : An Irreverent View of Life at IIMs by Neeraj Pahlajani (IIM B) and Ritesh Sharma (IIM L)

I read it when my roommate Nishant gave it to me; and later i learned from others that it was to IIMs what 5 point someone was to the IITs. Now, being an aspiring IIM student (this will be my 4th straight CAT), I had to read it .... to be succint, it was entertaining and enlightening. What goes inside one of the biggest educational brands acriss corporates.

12. The Black Cross by Greg Iles

I started reading it simply because I had no other book available. But it turned out to be quite an entertainer ... set in the backdrop of World War II in Germany, full of commando action, mass killing of Jews, Chemical weapons (Sarin and Soman), covert operations .... it's a good thriller.

13. It happened in India by Kishore Biyani
I've read plenty of stuff on retail , most notably being Made in America by Sam Walton and other stuff by Jack Trout; but India is India .... and that is what this book really brings to the table; that retaling in India is an alltogether new ball game. Also was nice to know about Kishore Biyani.

14. The McKinsey Way by Ethan M. Rasiel

McKinsey ... the name rings bells. Dream job out of colleges belong to this firm. McKinsy represents something for everyone; especially to every outsider aspiring to become a McKinsey insider...

A truely delightful account of what is done at McKinsey, How it is done at McKinsey and Why it is done at McKinsey .... full of real examples ...

15. Brisingr by Christopher Paolini
I am totally taken in by the Fantasy-Adventure genre. So, an ardent follower of Lord of the Ring and Harry Potter, I had to go for the 3rd offering of the Inheritance trilogy (not anymore, a fourth one will be coming). Maybe not in the same league as those mentioned above, but certainly engaging and worth reading. Basically, according to me, the very genre rocks !!!

Judgement !!!

Last Friday, something weird happened at the office. As I entered the lift to reach my floor, I was followed by a very obese guy. He must weigh around 100 kilos. And on top of that , his height was around 5'8" ... So, all in all he looked FAT. As he stepped in the elevator after me, the sweet recorded voice of some girl spoke, "Overload; someone please step out"
Now if the last person had been an average weighing guy, it would have been no issue. However, as that FAT guy stepped out, a roar of laughter echoed through the lift...
I can't forget the look in his eyes as the sliding lift doors closed.
It was as if he was pleading, "Dudes, I don't like being like this. At least show me the courtesy you would show to a fellow human being."
As I walked to my seat, I realised that he must have some hormonal imbalance issues, else it is hard to get so big purely on diet basis.
And there came the sudden rush of shame and guilt, coz I realised I was the among the ones who had laughed my ass out down there...
Hope I learn from this and never be this indecent again in future. It hurts when someone judges you based on your appearance, without knowing you...

Alive !!!

I was watching the movie "The Doors" yesterday. There's a scene where Val Kilmer (who portrays Jim Morrisson), drunk and high on Acid, stands on top of the car in the middle of a traffic jam and shouts, "All those out there who are alive raise their hands". Maybe JIM had a rare lucid moment in his madness.
Now, a drunken poetic baffoon delivering his line backed by Ray Manzarek's piano in the background takes you deep into yourself.
What kind of life do you want? Do you want it to be one on which a movie can be based, or a regular one. Do you want to change the world, or be a regular part of the changing world? Have you decided?Don't know? Judge by this. A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.
The state of our lives is nothing more than a reflection of the state of our mind. There's this cliche line I've read/heard so many times: Living is not the same as not dying.
Is there something missing? Emptiness is a symptom implying you are not living creatively. Do you have a goal? You either have no goal that is important enough to you, or you are not using your talents and efforts in a striving toward an important goal, or you are wasting your effort by striving in the wrong direction.
What we love we shall grow to resemble.
All we need to be clear about is what we want. How will we get it, when will we get it, what price will we have to pay for that? Will the thing really matter to us as and when we get it?If we bind ourselves with these doubts, we have no hope.

And that is one thing nobody can afford to loose... HOPE.

A CRUDE Reality...

Oil Prices at 135$ per Barrel. BPLC ready to ration fuel supply to it's retail outlets. Others likely to follow suit.
So dear fellow citizens, it's a distinct possibility now that you may drive your car to a nearby Gas station and see a signboard saying "Sorry, out of Gas".
That's precisely what happens to economies when crude prices surge... They run out of Gas.
Is it temporary? Nooooooooo...
Of course, maybe Nigerian trouble will get sorted; maybe Venezuela’s socialist liberator, Hugo Chávez will let Oil flow freely from the nationalized fields; maybe Putin's Gas Cartel materializes and Gas will take some burden off Gasoline; maybe "Evil Iran" will let pipelies to be laid; Maybe we'll all give up eating "Bhuttas" and "American Corns" and burn the ethanol produced by them instead; maybe Jatropha plant will rescue us; maybe KG basin...
Maybe, maybe, maybe...
Common, whom are we kidding? There are these two rising nations that are hogging oil just like anything, u know India and China.And 10 years from now, we'll have quite a lot of Africa and Latin America demanding their pound of flesh as well..
Saudi Reserves are headed downhill... So are from Mexican Gulf. So are from Texas.. The more is extracted now, the lesser overall recovery becomes. And African reserves are always bound to be affected by Geo-Politic; that translates to Uncertainity, irrespictive of prospective supply potential.
In short, nothing will keep oil prices down. Neither newer technologies, nor billions of dollars of investments, nor new geopolitical equations. Goldman Sacchs said oil can touch $200 per barrel. And worse, it'll stay there.
Then there's the hope of alternate technologies. Solar, Wind, Tidal, BioGas, BioFuel. Yeah, they're there, but realistically speaking, they demand too much time and resources and ROI is spread over a long long period of time. Also, they'll become sitting ducks withot government subsidies.
So what's the way out?
A PARADIGM SHIFT IN OUR LIFESTYLES.
That is the only way out. The only way out.
I read about some marketing survey long time back, probably done in UK. It said that people use vehicles and go out for four primary reasons:
1. to work

2. to Eat Out

3. to get entertained

4. to socialize

Future towns to be developed should have units consisting of these four parts, so that by default the distances reduce. Another option is clean, comfortable mass transport system.Further, India would do well to have bullet trains that run on electricity and cruise at 400+ kmph. They'll make air travel irrelevant in most cases .... Just think, overnight journey from Jammu to Kanyakumari... And with these crude prices, Low cost carriers will become history.

But these are all long term... what can be done now? I guess these options below look feasible:

1. Better roads:

According to the CIA World Factbook, India has 3.3 million kilometers of roads; the largest road network in the world (both paved and unpaved roads). Investment to make all these roads world class hovers around 3.5 lakh crores. India’s oil Pool deficit is Rs 80,000 crore annually. 3.5 lakh crores will be recovered in absolute terms in 6 years time, just because of better vehicle efficiency. This, keeping aside other abstract gains, like the spurt in demand for industries which supply raw material for road making, better purchasing power of millions because of the huge employment generation and the boost in economic activity owing to better connectivity.
2. Encourage use of waterways:

Transport through water has only one drawback. TIME. But fuel consumption in water transport is so miniscule compared to Surface / Air, that this has to be an option. Cost involved includes making and maintaining docks, and increased vigilance across water routes to check. This is less investment, and again, lots of job creation for unskilled sector.
The results of above two will be felt within 5 years. All that is needed is Political will. India is NOT short of funds. India is NOT short of Talent.

Let's face it. We cannot do without oil, it's just not possible. Oil does not mean only Diesel and Petrol. Crude gives soooo many petroleum products that are vital for industries like automobile, personal care products, construction material, petrochemical products, crucial medicine ingrediants... even the KG Basin Gas and a potential 1-2-3 agreement cannot help us stem this crisis.
Let us keep oil for the vital needs, and personal vehicles for infrequent use...
We have a collective responsibility of 1.1 billion people as a Nation. Nobody can shrug it off. NOBODY.

NICE GUY - WISE GUY

This is my first attempt at a short story. Everything is fictitious.

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Shishir Mehra lay limp, motionless. He had been so for a long time now. 8 months back, his 43 year old body had collapsed as he protested alongside others to save a park in the middle of Mumbai.He was in a coma for a week. Then, his mind woke up from it's slumber, but not fully. He had been paralyzed. He could only sense his body neck above, and with difficulty could move his left hand. His meager insurance ensured him a bed in a self help hospital wing. He had a bed by the side of a window. Sun shone on him every morning and presented him another day's time to kill. Nurse came and fed him, washed him, changed the clothes and bed sheets and went away. He tried talking to them, but soon realized that paralysis patients are treated as a nuisance. They don't get better, and they don't die soon. He had a family, but only for the sake of it. His parents had passed away few years back, both in their 80s. He was the youngest sibling among five. They had all been distanced from him, by circumstances, by time, by luck; in retrospect, by him. His wife divorced him pretty early, ostensibly because he was a bad parent, actually because he wasn't normal, had weird ideals, and had no ambitions... His son barely knew him. That kid never had a chance, as the “new dad” had lots and lots of money to buy good lawyers and buy new toys. Getting paralyzed is weird. You don't have a disease that damages your body, so you aren't actually dying. There's a fool's hope of getting better. You become completely dependent on others for everything. You can't move, and so, you want to talk. He had nobody to talk to.He tried reading, but it made his head hurt like hell. Noise made his head hurt. So no TV; No Songs. Consequently, he often got lost deep into his thoughts. Eventually, he began pondering over the questions he had been asked all his life... by well wishers, by not-so-well wishers, by family, by friends, by pseudo-friends.... why was he like this ? He was always so full of energy, so purposeful that he never had time to think over such things. It's bizarre thinking about your past life. One thought leads to another, which leads to many others, and each of them to many more. Within minutes the mind is a swamp, where images and thoughts criss-cross with lightening speed, until you get sick of it and let it go. But with only your head lolling around all day, you hardly have other options. He had always been a nice guy. A guy everyone liked. He was the apple of everyone's eyes. The most obedient and friendly boy in the neighborhood. He shared his Tiffin and toys with others. He gave his seat to others in the bus. He did small chores if any neighbor asked for. And he grew up exactly like that. He listened to everybody. He compromised with everyone. He always adjusted first, and the most. He never had a quarrel or a fight, because he let go and surrendered in hope of everlasting peace and harmony. He wanted peace of mind, and that is what eluded him most, as long as he lived. He never left anyone behind. He believed in consensus. He was gentle, caring, thoughtful and persuasive. His generosity was taken by all as his stupidity. His lack of will to stand and fight for his cause as his vulnerability. He wasn't dumb. He knew and understood everything. He knew what others were like. He knew what motivated them. He knew most around him better than they knew themselves. Yet he never took advantage of them. Never did he undermine them, or insult them, or stab them in the back. He always accommodated them. He persevered to make them all nice and happy. He sacrificed his own interests. Worst, he sacrificed his dignity. At some point, every nice guy realizes it... Nice guys finish last. Nobody gives a shit if you are nice. You are out of the frame as soon as you are out of sight. Period. He realized it as the enormity of his paralysis stroke began to dawn on him. He had never wronged anyone in his life. He had lived a pure life. He had actively worked for public causes. He never wronged anyone for his own beterment. He always let others have everything if it made them happy. What was his fault, that he had been reduced to this, and that people didn't care now that he lay there? Is it wrong to have ambitions that don't concern yourself? He always believed that he had been brought in this world for a greater cause, that he needed to think above personal interest and work for the society. God damn it! He was brilliant, wise and could have become the king of the world had he fought for himself and played by societies rules. What’s the point ??? Huh, what is the bloody point of all this? What did his life count for? All he needed now was some respect, some appreciation, some grateful acknowledgement... where were all of them, those nameless faces... for whom he had fought. Why didn't he feel good within, now as he was about to pass... why...Everything you do; everything you hear, every desire, every fear...Disgusting. Useless. Numb. He'd had enough. And so he was doing this. This was easy. He felt no pain. The paralyzed right hand wrist meant blood oozed out freely and he didn't feel a thing. Darkness took him slowly. And it was all over...

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Vivek Roy lay limp, motionless. He had been so for a long time now. 8 months back, his 43 year old body had collapsed as argued his division's case in front of the board of directors. He was in a coma for a week. Then, his mind woke up from its slumber, but not fully. He had been paralyzed. He could only sense his body neck above, and with difficulty could move his left hand. Being CFO of large Investment Bank's Indian operation meant he had no dearth of money. He had this private room here, with a lounge and a garden view from the porch. He had a complete support staff, and a team of high profile doctors. Sun shone on him every morning and presented him another day's time to kill. Nurse came and fed him, washed him, changed the clothes and bed sheets and went away. Even the bed sheets were louis vuitton. He tried talking to them, but soon realized it didn't matter. They talked only because he paid them well. He understood that paralysis patients are treated as a nuisance. They don't get better, and they don't die soon. But this thing worked out fine for these doctors and nurses. He had a family, but only for the sake of it. His parents had passed away when he was very young. He was the eldest sibling among five. He was brought up by his uncle, who made sure to taunt him at every juncture how he and his siblings were a huge huge burden. He did the chores during the day, and studied hard at night. He even mad each of his siblings study hard. He taught them the importance of having control, of slicing the largest portion of the pie, of not having to depend on anyone; by hook or by crook. They learned fast. Now they had all been distanced from him, by circumstances, by time, by luck; in retrospect, by him. His wife divorced him pretty early, ostensibly because he had an affair (which was true), actually because she was interested in his money, not him... His son barely knew him. That kid never had a chance, as the Court ruled that he was a bad influence as a parent, and even he didn't have time for the kid. Getting paralyzed is weird. You don't have a disease that damages your body, so you aren't actually dying. There's a fool's hope of getting better. You become completely dependent on others for everything. That is exactly he had been working all his life to prevent. Talking to nurses and doctors was irritating. He was tired of their fake smiles and plastic expressions. He tried reading, but it made his head hurt like hell. No Financial Times. No Wall Street journal. Even noise made his head hurt. So no TV; No News. Consequently, he often got lost deep into his thoughts. Eventually, he began pondering over the questions he had been asked all his life... by well wishers, by not-so-well wishers, by family, by friends, by pseudo-friends.... why was he like this ? He was always so full of energy, so purposeful that he never had time to think over such things. It's bizarre thinking about your past life. One thought leads to another, which leads to many others, and each of them to many more. Within minutes the mind is a swamp, where images and thoughts criss-cross with lightening speed, until you get sick of it and let it go. But with only your head lolling around all day, you hardly have other options. He had always been a wise guy. A guy everyone disliked, but couldn't do without. He was the stone in everyone's shoes, but nobody could afford to remove him. He had been viciously ambitious since always. He never shared; he always traded. Make an investment here, get barter there. That was his way of dealing with life. He wanted to provide himself with everything he hoped for. And he grew up exactly like that.He listened to everybody. He calculated all his moves. He compromised with nobody. He never adjusted. He never had a quarrel or a fight, as he never let things come to that. Pieces just fell in place for him as he planned, because he knew how to get under the skin of the people. He never wanted peace of mind, and it never eluded him. All he needed was a purpose to reach where he wanted to. He never carried dead weight. He thrashed all that stood in way. He made no bones about his ambition. He stepped over others. He lied, he cheated, he gained trust, and then backstabbed; and he rose. He converted his will into consensus. He was vicious, cruel, and fast.He fought like an animal. People said he would have been a great lawyer. But he knew that the true victories won by verbal battles belong to the corporate boardrooms, not in courts. He knew and understood everything. He knew what others were like. He knew what motivated them. He knew what they feared. He knew most around him better than they knew themselves. He always took advantage of them; undermined them, or insulted them; stab them in the back. He sacrificed his dignity. He sacrificed his ideals. But he gained more power.At some point, every wise guy realizes it... Nice guys finish last. Nobody gives a shit if you are nice. You are out of the frame as soon as you are out of sight. Period. He was born with that knowledge.But he also realized something as the enormity of his paralysis stroke began to dawn on him. Control through power lasts as long as you have the power. You are nothing, your standing is everything. You don't control the reigns, your position controls it. You don't matter, your money mattered/k. He wronged everyone in his life he had to. He had lived an impure life. He made other's lives a living hell to improve his marginally. What was his fault, that he had been reduced to this, and that people didn't care now that he lay there? Is it wrong to have ambitions that concern yourself? He always believed that he had been brought in this world for winning; that he needed to think only about personal interest above all. God damn it! He was brilliant, wise and could had become the king of his world... Then why was he seeing life as hapless as he was now? What’s the point??? Huh, what is the bloody point of all this? What did his life count for? That cash in his account, his portfolio, his empty penthouse in New York, London, Hong Kong and Singapore... All he needed now was some respect, some appreciation, some grateful acknowledgement, some moral support... Why didn't he feel good within, now as he was about to pass... why... Everything you do, everything you hear, every desire, every fear... After winning all way long, why do you end up loosing...Frustrating. Useless. Numb. He'd had enough. He had been so focused and sure all his life. He had to end it on his own terms. He was filled with hatred. He had made arrangements to destroy his wealth completely without benefiting anyone else. And so he was doing this. This was easy. He felt no pain. The right hand wrist meant blood oozed out freely and he didn't feel a thing. Darkness took him slowly. And it was all over...

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